DIANNE ASHLEY CORTEZ

never in your wildest dreams

filipina . twenty . canadian ♥ family&friends
tattoos . porn . cats. food . pretty ladies . and bunnies

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Aug 29th at 5AM / via: the-statuesque / op: syntheticmomma / 103,103 notes

titounettes:

naturalmomma:

Why are guys so obsessed with their dicks? We’ll be like “Mothers have the right to breastfeed their baby in public!” And without fail, dudes chime in with, “Does that mean I can pull my dick out in public? Can I urinate in public?” Chill the fuck out. This isn’t about your dick. You are already allowed to have your nipples out in public, sit the fuck down.

oh my GOD THANK YOU

(Source: syntheticmomma)


Aug 29th at 5AM / via: fukcnjaynee / op: kimkanyekimye / 29,406 notes

(Source: kimkanyekimye)


tastefullyoffensive:

Dad Joke Dog #2 (previously)


Aug 29th at 5AM / via: m0rphling / op: emiliogorgeous / 10,135 notes
thahalfrican:

hentaidaddy666:

niggaturnt:

niggafuckurblog:

sluttydilf:

tha-contender:

emiliogorgeous:

MSNBC Lockup Raw

Suck him up through the gate so he know it’s real

Real fuckin love

How

Dis da type shawty i need

Ride or die.

only way to get that ring from me tbh

thahalfrican:

hentaidaddy666:

niggaturnt:

niggafuckurblog:

sluttydilf:

tha-contender:

emiliogorgeous:

MSNBC Lockup Raw

Suck him up through the gate so he know it’s real

Real fuckin love

How

Dis da type shawty i need

Ride or die.

only way to get that ring from me tbh


"I am a very private person, yet I am an open book.
If you don’t ask…I won’t tell." 

Aug 29th at 5AM / via: letswaitforlove / op: iamboundtowin / 77,883 notes

(via adhoorikahani)

(Source: iamboundtowin)


Aug 29th at 5AM / via: m0rphling / op: stripperina / 201,696 notes

One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career? 

stripperina:

Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.


snapchatting:

i can’t believe your hips would just lie to me like that


poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

image

today on satan makes a blog post


Aug 29th at 5AM / via: m0rphling / op: thedeathmerchant / 495,798 notes
darkknightguardianofgotham:

chelle-the-zbornak-queen:

nowacking:

Good Guy Burglar

no you don’t understand.
he fully knew that he’d be arrested for breaking and entering but he still reported this.
he know he’d go to jail, but he put human decency before his own freedom and called out this disgusting sexual perversion.
and if you don’t think that’s the tightest crap ever get out of my face.

darkknightguardianofgotham:

chelle-the-zbornak-queen:

nowacking:

Good Guy Burglar

no you don’t understand.

he fully knew that he’d be arrested for breaking and entering but he still reported this.

he know he’d go to jail, but he put human decency before his own freedom and called out this disgusting sexual perversion.

and if you don’t think that’s the tightest crap ever get out of my face.

image

(Source: thedeathmerchant)


"Most people die at 25 and aren’t buried until they’re 75." 

Aug 29th at 5AM / via: m0rphling / op: bkoo / 650,636 notes

Benjamin Franklin (via bl-ossomed)

(Source: bkoo)


Aug 29th at 5AM / via: m0rphling / op: 9fail / 549,958 notes

(Source: 9fail)


Aug 29th at 5AM / via: m0rphling / op: bandsareprettyrad / 393,369 notes

bandsareprettyrad:

If you ever feel bad just remeber there is a gif of me floating around tumblr of when I was 8 and I sat on the escalator and knocked down a table of jewelry at macys


Aug 29th at 5AM / via: m0rphling / op: fawnbabe / 47,905 notes

fawnbabe:

If he doesn’t care about your orgasm, he doesn’t care about you


Aug 29th at 5AM / via: 5hu7o / op: hentaimilf / 9,520 notes

(Source: ohfuckinhell)


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