Why are guys so obsessed with their dicks? We’ll be like “Mothers have the right to breastfeed their baby in public!” And without fail, dudes chime in with, “Does that mean I can pull my dick out in public? Can I urinate in public?” Chill the fuck out. This isn’t about your dick. You are already allowed to have your nipples out in public, sit the fuck down.
oh my GOD THANK YOU
Dad Joke Dog #2 (previously)
MSNBC Lockup Raw
Suck him up through the gate so he know it’s real
Real fuckin love
Dis da type shawty i need
Ride or die.
only way to get that ring from me tbh
Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.
i can’t believe your hips would just lie to me like that
today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket
today on satan makes a blog post
Good Guy Burglar
no you don’t understand.
he fully knew that he’d be arrested for breaking and entering but he still reported this.
he know he’d go to jail, but he put human decency before his own freedom and called out this disgusting sexual perversion.
and if you don’t think that’s the tightest crap ever get out of my face.
Benjamin Franklin (via bl-ossomed)
If you ever feel bad just remeber there is a gif of me floating around tumblr of when I was 8 and I sat on the escalator and knocked down a table of jewelry at macys
If he doesn’t care about your orgasm, he doesn’t care about you