sometimes i wish you would just understand . how something so disgusting and awful has slowly been devouring my life for the past 6 years . maybe you think its not an addiction or a serious problem , but it is . and no matter how hard i try , the craving for it always comes back . i don’t need to be yelled at , i don’t need any more anger than i already have . i just want help , but i’m too afraid to ask . i’m just slowly waiting here to rot as this addiction of mine slowly swallows me whole .